Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Subtle Doubts

I draw my artwork with so much passion and I exhaust myself on detail that by the end of this semester I am so drained and my head is so dull. I feel deserted on a desolate landscape thirsting for water - that's so terribly cliché. Well anyways, my drawings feel so cold and bitter. I want to simultaneously reject all my thoughts, emotions, and imagination that went into a piece because I don't want to take those feelings back with me. However, maybe if a person taps into the same wavelength I have, they would immediately be repulsed at the drawing. It's not good enough. The skill level isn't there. It has a pretty surface with little aesthetic value but what else can come from it? Maybe if the ink will bleed like a human, the ink will wash to a dark gray and then it can be a pseudo Mark Rothko painting.

I know I use ballpoint pen way too much and I have been warned that when the pen fades in light it turns to a garish color. I am excited when that happens! Yippee, a medium that is temporary! I draw my dead insects with this pen because of the wonderful shades and delicacy, so much different from pen and ink. Perhaps without me realizing this, the subject matter is dead and the drawing's beauty will one day die.... see the connections? Eh, it's whatever. I wonder if I should include these thoughts into my artist statement? It is 12:30 AM because I procatinate    http://procatinator.com/

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